Insanity and Adventures
by abceigo
Summary: A story full of insanity, revelations and adventure with a side dish of dark humour.
1. It Begins

Disclaimer : We do not own any of the things in this story apart from ourselves and our fighting.

Four people were sitting inside a house drinking tea, discussing the atrocity that is Harry Potter.

"There are so many plot holes it's a surprise it hasn't fallen to pieces" said one of them, a ginger girl wearing a black Victorian style skirt, a black corset, black boots and a headband with a black top hat and netting attached at an angle.

"Yeah, I admit it does but that doesn't mean that the story isn't amazing ." This was announced by another girl, this one had brown , curly hair and glasses. She was wearing dark blue jeans, a blue skater dress top , leather boots and a black studded fedora.

"It's a terrible story. Everything was stolen from other authors, namely Lord of the Rings and The Worst Witch." The blond girl was waving her hands around as she said that, this one was wearing bright blue jeans, hedgehog socks with no shoes and a green hoodie over a black top with a picture of a cookie monster on.

"Watch what you're doing! You almost made me spill my tea!" This girl had auburn hair who wore dark brown jeans, light brown doc' martin's, a black t-shirt and a black waist coat over the top.

"Serves you right for having sugar in your tea you weirdo!" The blonde girl retorted angrily. The two gingers glared at her fiercly. The blonde girl flinched under the intensity of their gaze "Okay, okay, I'm the weirdo! Please don't kill me!"

"You two can be incredibly scary when you want to be..." The brunette noted thoughtfully.

"We're gingers, and gingers stick together!" They said in unison, raising their voices to an epic sounding yell on the last three words, the auburn girl going as far as to raise an arm triumphantly in the air.

"And how come Lily and James picked Pettigrew to be their secret keeper anyway, they could have picked themselves. What was the point of all that trouble when ..."

"When they could have moved to Africa." was muttered by the auburn girl interrupting the blonde girl who was now randomly biting the edge of her teacup.

" Its because you need someone outside the defensive magic to be the secret keeper , because it would cancel out the whole point of the spell." the brunette muttered under her breath , the others hadn't heard this , meaning they would continue to pick and peck critically at her beloved embodiment of childhood bound into seven simple books.

"Also, there is no way that the best defenses the teachers could put up would be easily defeated by three first years. Dumbledore was up to something, he had to be, I know he was trying to make an obstacle course!"

"I can't blame him," the blonde girl stated, "Obstacle courses are quite fun,"

"Yeah, fun to watch... People's futile attempts are hilarious. Especially when they don't know about the piranha pool at the end..." The ginger smirked evilly at the thought. The other three stared at her oddly.

"You have a twisted sense of humour and what an obstacle course is Becca." said the blond girl slowly, still staring at her.

"I know, Hope, I know; it's just so fun to creep people out with what I say." Becca said still smirking. "Have you ever noticed that there are never any more humanoid creatures like vampires in there that are explained apart from werewolves. It makes you wonder how much did J K Rowling think it through. I mean, it seems like she just said 'oh shit, deadline. I know I'll only do one creature in depth.' She is so lazy."

"What about the veela?" questioned the brunette.

"Ah, Katie you will notice that all we know about veela is that they make men crazy. Despite the fact Fleur is quarter-veela she was so lazy that she couldn't be bothered making up any information." This came from Hope who was by now staring at the ceiling.

"There is Pottermore though .That's got loads of things on there that your going on about that's not in the books and some of the things you have mentioned are explained in the again I've recently read the books. Oh nevermind." Katie said as she noticed they weren't listening.

"What are you looking at? Is it the answer to the meaning of life?" The auburn head was staring at her and then at the ceiling.

"No Helen, its just a small spot on the paint. Maybe they did an experiment and it exploded in their faces; and anyway, I've told you that life is meaningless, we're just parasites sucking the life out of the planet."

"Yes, and now their ghosts haunt this room forever haunting everyone who stays here." Katie said this with a creepy innocent smile. Hope and Helen gave an exaggerated shudder at these words while Becca started to cackle.

Suddenly Becca stopped and looked out the window, "Hey look its stopped raining, come on we need to go and get some food."

Grumbling the other three got up and started pulling on coats (and shoes in Hope's case). They all truged towards the door and opened it. They stopped and stared because a blue light had started to gather in front of the door. It grew bigger and brighter, and they could feel the pull of it tugging them forward. Planting their feet in the ground they lent back, but when the light filled the door it was too strong. Helen lost her footing and flew forward, slamming into the others; this created a chain where they all fell into the light, then everything went black.

They were suddenly falling down not sideways anymore when they came round. Opening her mouth Becca screeched alerting the others that something was wrong, after a while they slammed into the ground dazed and confused. Gathering herself Katie looked up and around and said, "Guys, I think you'd better look at this."

They all looked up confused at first, then they just stared in shock. They were in a forest, an honest to god forest; but if that wasn't enough lying around them was a laptop, an encyclopedia, a backpack, Becca's flute and finally Helen's was the one who summed what they were all thinking into words, "Well shit, we are so screwed."


	2. Bumps in the night

"Yes, we are." Hope said this while getting up, "Thank you for stating the obvious there, that was so helpful." She started looking around at the clearing they had landed in. It was surrounded by pine, oak and spruce trees that reached towards the heavens , as if they were trying to get closer by the minute. There were little groups of pure violet-blue forget-me-nots and wild violets sprinkled like an elegant multi-coloured blanket around our landing site; the dominant mountains in the far distance showed the trees climbed halfway up in the form of a graduated cascade until they came to a their height limit and came to an abrupt stop.

"Your welcome." Came the cheerful reply from, Helen, who was brushing the dirt off her pants.

"So we're in the middle in the middle of nowhere with no changes of clothes. Can someone help me up?" This abrupt statement came from Becca whom was lying on her back with her arms in the air.

"Why can't you... oh..." Hope started, before trailing off when she noticed the alterations to Becca's already zany outfit; the corset and skirt had joined together to make a dress, the skirt had more layers, a train had been attached and she had foundation and dark purple lipstick on.

"Oh my god! Becca's been kidnapped by scary portal aliens and replaced by a scary gothic counterpart!" Helen screamed, eyes wide with fear.

"Oh shut up! What on Earth are you talking about?!" Becca snapped.

" Err , Becca, maybe you should look at what you're wearing." Katie said cautiously, wary of the somewhat terrifying expression on the ginger's face. Becca looked down at her outfit and smiled delightedly.

"I look awesome!" she exclaimed cheerfully, "Where exactly are we anyway?" Becca continued.

"We're in a place" Hope replied, staring off into the trees that were lit with the light of the midday sun, "a place far, far away from where we used to be."

"No shit, Sherlock. Thank you for that very obvious statement." Katie said sarcastically. "Shall we try to figure it out."

"Okay. Let's go!" Helen said, pulling Becca up enthusiastically.

"Ohhh shiny..." Becca uttered to herself, picking up a ring of gold and silver keys that had caught her eye as the others began to walk purposefully in the direction of what they hoped would be civilisation.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

"My feet hurt!" Helen whined, interrupting the silence that had fallen upon them as they walked.

"Shut up and keep walking." Becca snapped without looking up from checking her flute for damage.

"My back hurts!" Hope whined, bent double under the weight of the heavy backpack.

""My head hurts from listening to you two moaning!" Katie retorted in an attempt to get them to shut up.

"Who wants to listen to David Bowie!" Hope asked everyone hopefully.

"NO!" Becca and Helen shouted, staring at her evilly. "You put on that waste of space I will find a way to make your life hell for the rest of your life." Becca continued.

"I refuse to walk until you allow me to put on David Bowie." Hope retorted.

"Well then, I guess I don't have a choice. We are going to have to drag you along."

"No! You will not make me move. I shall stay here until I get my way!"

"Stop it, you can argue later, we need to work out where we are." This surprisingly came from Katie, who was staring at them with a frown on her face. "So you two can carry this on when we find civilisation and work out a way back home."

Becca and Helen stopped where they were, which was tying Hope up so she could be dragged easier, and stared at Katie without blinking. "Well just wait until we do this so we can move on" they said in unison.

"What are you doing... wait, don't answer that." Katie sighed exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of her nose. A few minutes later and the four of them could be seen walking through the forest. Hope and Katie were looking around them every so often while Becca and Helen seemed to be ignoring them but were actually straining their ears. The reason was made obvious when a bush rustled a few feet away from them. All their heads snapped towards the source of the sound and several of them fell into fighting positions as if they held weapons.

"I think we might need to get some arrows for Helen," Hope murmured "I don't feel safe. I think we need to get some protection."

Sounds of agreement came from the rest of the group and they got to work. They gathered sticks, rocks and feathers, which they gave to Helen. She started to sharpen one end of the sticks and attached the feathers to the other end of the stick to balance the arrow. "These should be last until we can get some proper arrows from a town." By this time the light had grown dim and the sun was setting. They huddled together seeking heat and comfort in the dark from the unknown creatures.

Helen stood up and readied her bow, "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Replied Becca.

"Not this shit again." Katie face palmed, "I had enough of this at the sleep over."

"No seriously... I hear something." Helen said in a hushed tone looking in the direction of the mountains.

"What do you hear?" Hope stood looking in the direction she was. "Are the voices speaking to you again?"

"We should get some sleep, and have people taking watch. And Hope stop talking about voices, I don't care if she has schizophrenia or not but for now we should just sleep."

"After a few minutes of discussion they all split up and settled down for the night. The people on watch listened out for any suspicious noises and looked at the star filled sky.

"You know, this sky doesn't look very familiar; I don't recognise any of the constellations and the North star Polaris isn't anywhere!" Katie pondered absently.

"You know I think you may be right." Becca agreed.

"The sky changes all the time, it's probably just some kind of screwed up light pollution thingey-majig" Helen said groggily rolling over and burying her face in the floor to go to sleep "And whatever it is, chances are we won't be dead tomorrow..." Helen continued, the muffled sound of her voice was drowned out by the overwhelming silence of the forest.

"Yeah, kay...night." Becca rolled over, closed her eyes and then proceeded to ignore everyone else.

In the morning light katie and Hope slowly woke up. They groggily sat up and stretched, they looked around blinking in the harshness of the light. Hope's eyes swept over the sleeping forms of Helen and Becca and then blinked and went back to Helen. She frowned and rubbed her eyes to check that she wasn't seeing things because Helen now had a quiver next to her that was filled with arrows.  
"Katie," she whispered, so she didn't disturb the two sleeping gingers, "I'm not seeing things am I; because Helen now has a quiver full of arrows."

"What!?" Katie hissed quite loudly. She then winced and both her and Hope froze in place just watching the two sleeping bodies for signs of them waking.

"Keep your voice down. You know what they're like in the morning and we don't have any tea!" was hissed back at her.

"Oh shit." Katie froze with a face of dawning horror, "We are so dead aren't we." This was said at a normal volume which made the two on the floor start to stir.

"What is happening and who the fuck woke me up?" Becca snarled while glaring in their general area.

"Katie did it!" Hope said instantly, pointing at her with an accusatory stare. "How could you Katie? I'm so disappointed with you." She continued sadly, shaking her head shamefully.

"What!?" Katie yelled exasperatedly "You were the one rambling on about quivers and arrows! It makes a change from rambling on about David Bowie though , because as much as I like his music I'm just not in the mood."

"You were the one that woke them up when you said yourself we don't have any tea!" Hope retorted. Next to them, Helen woke up suddenly and sat bolt upright, unconsciously drawing an arrow from her new quiver, sliding it easily into her bow and aiming it at whoever happened to be unlucky enough to be in front of her.

"What do you mean no tea?" she said coldly glaring at Hope through a giant auburn bedhead. Hope flinched under the gaze of her arrow.

"N...n...nothing! " she stuttered" Please don't kill me!" she exclaimed, trembling in genuine fear for her life.

"You just said there was no tea..." Becca said quietly, a disturbingly dark look coming over her face.

"N...no I didn't! You just ...errm ...You just misunderstood my point!" Hope said frantically.

"And what exactly was your point?" Katie smirked, clearly enjoying her suffering. Hope glared at her before continuing to plea for her continued survival.

"I simply meant that we don't have any tea at this precise moment in time?" She questioned uncertainly, in the hope that her(rather pathetic) attempt to stall the destructive powers of the gingers would buy her enough time to get to somewhere where they did have tea, or alternatively very strong sedatives.

"Maybe we should get going?" Katie said pensively, casting an eye over their surroundings "I don't know about you, but I for one don't particularly want to sit around in a forest for the rest of the day."

"Yeah, I suppose we should. There's something about this place that just feels sort of...off " Helen added cautiously. Becca fidgeted in a gesture that was rather uncharacteristic, she furtively looked around the dense foliage that surrounded them, gazing into the deep shadowy depths of the forest.

"I almost feel like somebody could be watching us" she said, choosing her words carefully. All four of them moved closer together, the brittle twigs and tall sentinel-like trees were beginning to look far more sinister than they had previously. They remained silent for a few seconds before Katie disrupted the quiet with her near inaudible utterance:

"Someone...or perhaps something"


	3. Missing Persons

Helen and Becca walked inside the pub, it was reminiscent of a traditional English pub; the walls were paneled with deep oak wood and the floor was covered in old chipped flagstones, an assortment of colourful patrons sat at rickety tables dotted around the room, all in varying states of catatonia, there was a varied collection of watercolour paintings and old advertisements for things ranging from the latest magical hair removal cream to an automated door that opened after reciting a lengthy and complicated spell. They made their way towards the long mahogany bar that lined the far side of the room, when they reached it Helen forcefully slammed down a fist before turning to address the few barely conscious inhabitants of the room.

"Has an anyone seen a blonde idiot being followed by a smirking brunette...well she might have been smirking but she was more likely to be doubled over in hysterical laughter" she said in her best epic Skyrim voice. There were a few muffled grumbles of acknowledgement from the inebriated crowd, but aside from that they all ignored her. "Hey! Listen to me you morons!" She shouted angrily "We went through fifteen different pubs before I managed to sound that epic, and I will not be ignored!"

"You do realise that they probably can't even understand what you're saying." Becca mumbled, the cynicism literally dripping of her words as she sipped at the random drink that had appeared in her hand.

"Where did you get that drink?!" Helen exclaimed loudly.

"I don't know and to be honest I don't care" Becca replied "you have one too though." she continued gesturing vaguely to the mug that had appeared in her hand. Helen looked at her hand and yelped with surprise at the sudden appearance of a mug of something that looked a little bit like tea.

"Oh yay! Tea!" she shouted happily, instantly raising the mug to her lips. Cautiously she took a sip and spit it out straight away "No sugar! Who was the idiot that made this and didn't put sugar in?!"

Becca turned to her raising an eyebrow and opening her mouth to say something but before any sound was made, a pouch was thrust in the space inbetween their faces attached to a shaky hand.

"Excuse me, what are you doing?" Becca said confusion evident in her voice.

The man ignored her question in favour of leering at her. "Heeeey Babe, how sh'bout we head upstairsh for a bit of fun, if y'know what I mean?" he slurred, the stench of alcohol was evident on his breath.

Becca narrowed her eyes at the man, "No, I do not know what you mean, how about you enlighten me?" she stated icily, Helen took one look at her face and started edging away slowly so she didn't make anyone else aware.

"Thash awright, guess I'm jusht gonna have to show you what I mean" he said, totally unaware of the daggers shooting out of Becca's eyes. He lunged towards her, a slight stagger in his step, and moved to wrap his arm around her waist, a second later he was sprawled on the floor, groaning in pain.

"Hey, that hooker just hit Bob!" another drunken idiot stood up and pointed at Becca. Becca scowled and an evil look appeared in her eye.

"I am not a fucking hooker" she snarled angrily.

Becca grabbed a bottle off the counter and threw it at the second drunken idiot. The man cried out and grasped his face, blood beginning to ooze through the gaps between his fingers. The rest of the occupants stood and charged towards slip of a girl. Becca grasp the nearest stool and swung it over the head nearest man. She swung it and it hit the man with a loud crack and he crumpled to the ground unconscious. Nearby Helen was hitting everyone who tried to get near her, she spun round when she sensed someone behind her and kicked them in the groin. After most of the men had gone down she heard a strangled yell from behind her; she turned swiftly and saw two of the more sober men working together to get Becca. One of them had come up behind her and grabbed her, trapping her arms against her chest, the other one was coming up in front to beat her into unconsciousness. Becca started to kick her feet in front of her and, by some chance of fate, managed to get the man in front of her in the groin, Helen started towards Becca in order to knock out the man holding her when Becca threw her head back and got the man in the face. The man dropped Becca and stumbled back, cupping his broken nose. Becca turned on her heel and kicked the man in the stomach, he toppled over into a quivering heap on the floor.

Helen turned to Becca and asked incredulously "Why did you do that!?"

"He called me a prostitute! I was offended."

This made Helen pause, "Fair enough."

They started to walk out of the town until a shout caught their attention. "Hey, you!" a man was shoughting at them looking very irritated.

"What?" Helen questioned because Becca was starting to gain a murderous look on her face. The man ignored her in favour of glaring at Helen.

"Can you try to not create chaos everywhere. I've been following you since you entered this town and I saw what you did to those poor people!"

"Those poor people deserved it," Becca interupted with a sneer on her face "they insinuated that I was a somebody who could be bought, he brought it on himself and then they tried to take us down so it was self-defense."

"Still, there was no reason to attack them that viciously, and it was your fault for going into a bar dressed like that." He looked down on Becca with an air of superiority surrounding him.

"Oh, excuse me for trying to find my travelling companions. Next time I'll leave them to get lost and die." She practically growled, Helen decided that it would be best to stop a death from occurring and so grabbed her arms and held them still.

"Your companions, they're lost? How?"

Helen decided to cut in then before he had his head metaphorically bitten off. "Well, you see..."

After a couple of hours - which were punctuated wih 70 death threats and 20 murder attempts - the four of them stumbled across a road.

"Civilasation! Finally the tea is within our grasp." Helen cheered waving her hands in the air, next to her Becca was jumping up and down clapping her hands with a gleeful smile on her face. Both Katie and Hope looked incredibly relievedand started walking briskly down the road.

"Well come on then, Let's go get the tea!" Hope called over her shoulder. They all started walking down the road. Half an hour later they came across a stall on the side of the road that seemed to be selling tea; Becca and Helen almost squealed in delight and ran over. The stall was a simple desk covered with a table cloth, it was in the shade of a massive tree, On the stall was a selection of herbal blends and fruits that they couldn't name. An old woman wearing a dark blue dress and several strings of beads around her neck was sat behind the stall, seemingly staring into space. When the two girls appeared infront of her she smiled, showing of her yellow teeth, it was a secretive sort of smile.- like she knew something they didn't.

"Hello there, what can I get you?" She said in a shaky voice, the sun light bounced of her white hair.

"Do you have any tea that we can have?" Becca asked politely. The woman nodded and said in her trembling voice;

"Yes, I have chamomile, Peppermint or green tea. Which one do you want?" Hearing the list of teas, the girls faces fell but they still looked at the selection thoughtfully. After a while Becca spoke up.

"We'll have some green tea please." The woman gathered some tea leaves to put in a bag and passed them over saying.

"Here you go, and don't worry, it's free. Although I would recommend going to the nearest town and playing your flute." She picked up a book from underneath her chair and gave it to Helen, "Give this to your friends and tell them it's for all their troubles."

"Okay?" Helen said, a question evident in her tone.

Becca gave the stall owner a small smile and inclined her head.

"Thank you very much."

The two girls started to slowly walk towards their friends and away from the stall, when they reached them Helen dumped the book in the backpack and passed on the message. The group started walking again until they came to crossroads, there was a wooden sign post.

The girls gawked at the sign post as they read it.

"Shit." Becca stated, "Pass me the laptop."

Hope reached into the backpack and pulled out the blue laptop and handed it to Becca without looking at her.

"Is that..." Hope trailed off, raising a shaky finger.

"Yes, yes it is." Helen replied.

Katie started to laugh so much she had to lean on Hope to stay standing. While she was laughing she managed to gasp out. "Oh... My... God. I can't... Believe it... We're... In Fairy Tail." She burst into laughter at the frantic looks Helen and Hope gave Becca. The latter slowly looked up from the laptop with her hands shaking.

"It's real, we actually are in an anime. All the names match up; what the fuck are we supposed to do, we have no house, no job, no money, no weapons. We'll be killed."

This started off quite calm but quickly became panicked. The groups mood suddenly became sombre at her exclamation.

"Well, we could get money from your flute playing like that woman said, can't we?" Helen enquired, "And... And i can teach you to use my bow." Hope smiled sympathetically at her.

"That's merely a long tern plan. Flute playing won't get enough money to feed us all." Becca nodded slowly, smiling sadly.

"Well, the laws of physics tell us..." Katie launchhed into a long-winded speech that had the other three looking at her blankly.

Finally Helen said "So, we can use magic?"

"Basically, yes." She explained.

"Well you could have just said that rather than giving us a lecture the length of war and peace!" Hope exclaimed, "And you tell me i go on too much."

"But with you it is about David Bowie which is ten times worse!" Becca shouted, waving her arms around.

"No he is not ten times worse, if anything he's ten-thousand times better! I completely fail to understand your lack of appreciation for his awesome-ness! His music has everything; Beautiful melodies, catchy riffs and his lyrics are probably the best lyrics anyone's ever sung!"

"No he is not, he sounds like a reject from the 60's."

"He's not from the 60's he's from the late 70's, early 80's."

"That's even worse, how did he ever become popular, his music grates on my ears."

"Well you clearly haven't listened to him properly!"

"How can i not have listened to him properly? I had an earbudd in my ear with music coming out of it!"

"You need to be in a quiet room-"

"Shut up!" Katie interjected.

"The only way we can survive here is if we make amends." Helen said in a serene voice. "So why don't we all stop arguing and just carry on walking." Katie was nodding her head from her place next to her because the two arguing teens had moved closer to each other in order to shout in each others face.

They all started walking down the road once more, the sign pointing down this path read 'Fiore'.

A few hours later they stopped for a break because Becca was looking murderous at the whining of the others. As they sat down on the side of the road all of their stomach's let out growls. After some discussion Hope and Katie went off to forage for food (for vegetarians)- with their book - while Helen went off to hunt for food (for normal people) and Becca started to build a fire.

While Katie and Hope were looking for plants they could eat they heard a bush rustle, they both spun round in that direction looking alert. Hope raised the book as if it was a gun then realised what she was doing and shook her head. As she was lowering it she noticed that it was glowing, entranced by it she started staring at the book and opened it. As soon as she had opened the book a shape jumped out of the bush and landed in front of them, it turned out to be a humanoid figure. It had black fox ears perched on top of her blond hair with red streaks. She was wearing a black top and skirt combo with a black collar, red gloves and red boots. The final strange things about her was the red eyeshadow she was wearing and her sharp canine teeth.

Katie was looking at the creature with her eyebrows raised, "You know, she kinda looks like a Zorua from the pokemon games that Becca and Helen like."

"What?" Hope replied distracted, without looking up from the book. On the page she was looking at was a picture of the creature in front of them. It was a sub-species of the Mullaney, a Kristy.

"Hello how are you?" The Kristy said.

Hope jumped and stared at the Kristy from behind the book.

"Y-you speak English!" Hope stuttered.

The Kristy snickered and said, "English? That's what you think you're speaking? Don't be stupid!"

"Well we're not speaking Arabic." Katie replied.

"Arabic?" The Kristy questioned.

"Well, What are we speaking then?" Hope asked frustrated.

"You're speaking Fiorean." The Kristy's blue eyes twinkled.

"No, I'm pretty sure we're speaking English." Hope said.

"I don't know what this English thing is, but you're certainly not speaking it." The Kristy put her hands on her hips.

"Well we're certainly not speaking Fiorean either!" Hope said stubbornly, mirroring the Kristy's gesture, dropping the book in the process. As the book fell it opened and turned in the air; it landed with a thump. The noise made all of them look at the book, it was open on a page showing a plant lit by a hovering ball of blue light.

"Are you looking for that plant because I can show you where it is?" The Kristy said her voice full of curiosity.

"Why, what is it?" Katie asked looking intently at the drawing.

"Its not got a name, but when people either inhale the smoke, eat or drink any thing from it they either become very happy or have a panic attack. I am its guardian."

Hope got a strange look on her face, that she tried to hide; Katie saw before she could though.

"Whatever you are planning, no. We will not do anything its not good for anyone involved!"

"What do you mean; I am not planning anything!"

"Sure your not. I know that look you had, it was the one you get when you're plotting. So no!"

The Kristy was watching this with an amused smile on her face, "So are you going to come."

"Yes!" Hope exclaimed. The two of them started to run off in a seemingly random direction leaving Katie to roll her eyes and mutter under her breath before running after them.

Back at the road Becca and Helen had a fire going and were preparing the meat for cooking. They were murmuring to each other and Becca had a frown on her face.

"Where are they. It shouldn't take this long to get some plants!"

"You know them, Hope gets distracted easily and Katie just stands and laughs at her."

Becca hummed in agreement starting to cook the meat and seemed to forget the topic. When they were eating she suddenly asked, "Move on to town or wander round looking for them?"

Helen cocked her head and thought, finally she spoke in a measured voice "I think we should move on, I mean we can ask people at the town whether they've seen them."

Becca snorted, "Be prepared to be ignored, they won't take us seriously because of our age."

Helen rolled her eyes, "You make it sound like we're scouts." she muttered, the word scouts holding so much revulsion it was almost visible. They got up and tidied everything away, when everything was done they started walking down the road again. Helen was practicing what she was going to say and Becca was offering comments dosed in cynicism. They finally came across the town and after a few moments of discussion they decided to ask about them in the pubs, this started the great pub questioning chain.

"... and that's how it happened."

The man stood there gaping at them his brown eyes wide and his mouth was open.

"You know what, I'll put up a request in the closest wizards guild for you. They could help."

"And who would pay for this mission, we don't have any money."

"How do you not have money! How do you live?"

"Becca took out her flute and waved it in his face, "I play this and we get some money." she explained looking like she thought he was an idiot. They were slowly gathering a crowd who was watching the argument as if it was the funniest thing they had seen all year. "Do you want to see?" she asked ignoring the people surrounding them.

Without waiting for a response she slowly raised the flute to her lips and played a melody that moved every person who heard it (Lord of the Rings - In Dreams); during her performance Helen went around the crowd and gathered all the money that was offered to her. The man was crying by the end of the song, "Well, what did you think." she smirked.

The crowd all smiled shakily at the two of them and waved at them, one man came through the crowd towards them and stopped when he was infront of them. "There is something you should know. These woods are supposed to contain a very powerful herb that is protected by a kitsune, anyone who goes after it never comes back. It is very possible that they stumbled across this herb or the demon found them first. It really wouldn't be wise to go after them on your own, you should get professional help. We can give you a place to stay and food to eat while you wait for your request to be chosen."

"We'll stay the night but no longer. Our friends should not be trusted on their own." was the response. The man looked uneasy but nodded anyway, he motioned two villagers forward and they started to lead us to a house for the night.


	4. Magical What!

Both of the girls woke up groggily, "Uh, why is it always my eyes?" Helen moaned throwing an arm to block the sunlight.

"Because it hates you," Becca answered snidely, "everything does." By this point she was out of bed and stumbling towards the kitchen to try and make a pot of tea, mainly so she didn't try to massacre the town. Helen made a face and started to get ready for the day of searching, stumbling into the kitchen a few minutes later.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, "Come in." Helen called because Becca was glaring at the door, a silhouette could be seen in the doorway as a woman came through. She stared in shock at the mess they had made of the kitchen while making breakfast; there was food all over the counter and dishes were stacked on top of each other in the sink. Becca and Helen were sat at the kitchen island with a pot of tea between them, "Well, what do you want?" Helen asked frowning at her. She blinked and moved further into the kitchen.

"The headman says that he will lead you to the forest soon." she said, her blonde hair falling over her shoulder as she gave a small bow. The two girls gave an indication that they heard her and started gathering food for the journey. Before they left they sat down and had the tea that had been prepared, the woman watched in astonishment as the tension that they had seemed to drain away as they drank the liquid.

They walked outside and let the woman lead them to the edge of the town, they saw the man from the night before waiting for them. He turned around when he heard their approach; he seemed to be on the verge of speaking before he turned and nodded towards their guide. "Thank you for this, you can go now. I'll lead them from here." The blonde lady nodded and walked back into town silently. Becca and Helen followed the man staring at his black and green hair with unabashed curiosity as they were confused as to how a complete stranger would want to help two random teenagers on a quest for their friends, as in their normal world that they had grown up in, this sort of thing never would have happened. In their normal world anyone who was willing to help would have named a price on their terms before hand .Then again, in their old world it wasn't very often that two friends would go on a quest for magical marijuana.

When it was midday the man suddenly stopped in the middle of a clearing, turning round he saw Becca's hand over Helen's mouth while her eyebrow was raised in a questioning manner. "Well, this is where I leave you." Seeing the two gingers rapidly darkening expressions he hurriedly added on "It's where all the others reported the meeting with the kitsune."

"The kitsune?" Helen asked quizzically (after fighting her way from beneath Becca's hand, of course).

"Do you not know the legends?" He said, an expression of surprise on his face.

"No, we don't." Becca glared at him coldly and the guide had fight hard to suppress a shudder of terror.

"So I suggest you tell us before this arrow finds itself to be lodged between your parietal and occipital lobes" Helen said, the taught string of her bow was pinched tightly between her fingers, and she'd somehow managed to position herself behind the guide. The guide gulped, squirming beneath the feeling of Helen's stone arrow digging into his scalp.

"When did you find the time to learn the comprehensive biology of the human brain?" Becca asked suddenly, drawing attention away from the somewhat traumatized guide.

"Back at home, the interweb and I found a neurology book hanging around."

"Why?!" Becca asked exasperated. Both of them where now totally ignoring the guide, who just so happened to be edging away very slowly.

"I thought it'd make me sound like a badass!" Helen cried, her voice climbing up several octaves over the course of one sentence. "And don't you think you're getting away without some kind of explanation." Helen added coldly, instantaneously re-threading the arrow and shooting it so that it only narrowly missed the guide, who openly flinched.

"Okay, you better start talking. Fast." Becca said, advancing on the guide.

"Fine! I wasn't trying to hide anything in the first place!" He said grumbling. "I just assumed you already knew!"

"Well next time don't assume anything." Becca said quite sharply, glaring at him while Helen slowly released the tension from her bow and took out the arrow. The man let out a shaky breath and licked his lips.

"It is said that the kitsune is a fox spirit that used to be a human. One day it came across some plants and after eating some of them she died from poisoning, from then on she became the guardian of that place and was tasked with keeping people from dying the same way she did. Now, though she lures people into the forest and straight into the hands of a dark wizard guild.

"Of course it is, because Hope never gets into trouble halfway." Becca mumbled, rolling her eyes while Helen seemed to grow taller and more erratic at the prospect of a fight. This made the man flinch even more and stumble back a bit, these actions made Becca sigh and shake her head and she motioned for the man to stop; he stopped immediately and seemed to be almost crying of fear. "You will tell us exactly where these emwizards/em are so that we can find our friends,and then we will leave you alone and you will never have to see us again."

"I...I don't know where they are! No-one does!"

Becca leveled a look at him that made him gulp and shake before she turned to look at Helen. She sighed sadly before saying "He's telling the truth. Sadly". With a shake of her head she turned her body away and started to walk away. After she reached the treeline, she looked over her shoulder and smirked, "Are you coming or not Helen? I wouldn't think you would want to miss a fight."

Helen narrowed her eyes, but still smirked. "Yeah, yeah. I'm coming, calm down." With that said she started walking quickly and soon caught up with the other ginger. The man watched with wide eyes as the two girls disappeared in the gloom of the forest. As soon as they vanished from sight the elder let out a deep breath that he didn't realise he was holding. Shaking his head in disbelief he stumbled off towards the forest to spread the news of the actions of the two.

A few miles away Hope and Katie found themselves surrounded by strangely dressed idiots. Katie rolled her eyes and whispered softly to Hope, "How in God's name did we let these capture us?". With that she motioned with her head towards the cloaked men who were playing charades, waving their hands madly.

Hope looked over to them, shook her head with disappointment and shouted, "YOU IDIOTS, IT'S AN ELEPHANT!" The man threw his hands up in the air and angry look across his face; ten minutes later Katie found herself trying to muffle snickers as Hope mumbled at her from beneath the gag. Across from them you could see the men complaining to each other and fixing the bite marks that were left on their arms. Katie let out a exasperated breath at the incompetence that she saw.

"So, who exactly are you guys?" She questioned, boredom evident in her voice.

"Why should we tell you, we can't have you runnin' off and tellin' everyone who we are."

Katie raised an eyebrow, "So you are planning on letting us go after this then."

"No, why would we do that? You're going to be our slaves now."

"Well, you just said that you can't have us telling anybody where you are, which implies that you would be letting us go into places where we would have unrestrained contact with people."

"What did you say?"

"Didn't you just hear me, or are you just that retarded?"

"I'm not a retard, if anyone is it's you who is the retard."

"Well if you're not a retard then you should be perfectly able to understand the majority of the vocabulary that I am utilising."  
_Time skip_

"Fine, fine, if we tell you would you just shut up!"

"Mainly, I just have a few more questions after this."

"Okay, okay. We're the Dark Guild: emstrongEternal Void/strong/em!" He said the name with extended arms to the sky.

"... You look like an idiot when you do that. Next question, what are you planning on doing to us?"

"We told you this, we are going to make you our slave. Along with the rest of the people we captured."

"Neither of us would make good slaves, we are very bad at listening to people, we just ignore them." Behind her Hope was nodding her head furiously, frantic mumbles coming from behind the gag. "Final question. If you hate listening to me so much then why haven't you gagged me too?"

The men exchanged sheepish looks and quietly mumbled "We used the other gag as bandages and didn't bring any spares."

"Well, that's just bad planning. What would your mothers think!" One of the men opened their mouths but Katie continued without mercy. "Don't answer that, it was rhetorical." There was a few minutes of silence that was suddenly broken by the thud of an arrow hitting the ground. A quick look down confirmed that an arrow had just landed in the ground between Katie and the leader.  
A muffled "Shit" was heard from behind the two girls (who had been tied back to back). As the men started to walk towards the tree that the sound had come from another arrow came flying through the air to hit someone in the shoulder. Five minutes in saw 10 men lying on the ground moaning in pain, when suddenly a black blur came jumping out of a bush and started to scratch, kick and bite the men who were still moving.

The man paused when most of his men were lying on the floor groaning in pain; he looked at the woman who was now standing over the last man she took down. Her ginger hair was tangled and all over the place, her black dress had a few mud stains on the bottom and her chest was heaving as she gasped for breath. A sudden pain had him looking down to see an arrow skewering his left foot and keeping it attached to the floor. "Yes, see I can hit moving targets." This came from another girl who was climbing out of a tree, she seemed to have aimed that to the other girl who was by now breathing normally.

The ginger girl snorted and said, "Yeah, but only like, 4 times out of 10." She smirked at the mumbled response that her comment got. "Shouldn't we deal with this guy first though?" She asked gesturing towards the leader.

This got a smirk from the girl from the tree, "Yes, I suppose we should." She suddenly spun round and spoke with surprising eagerness "Can I, can I, please please please?" She got a regal nod from the first girl which caused her to squeal before spinning on her heel and punching the man in the face. His head snapped back and his sight exploded into a burst of light before all he saw was black.

Katie and Hope watched with satisfaction as the man fell backwards and landed on the floor. "Are you going to get us out of these ropes now?" Katie questioned with a raised eyebrow, gaining the attention of the Becca and Helen standing in the middle of the clearing. They stepped towards the two and started to untie the knots.

"Mmmmm" came the disgruntled voice of Hope when they had finished.

"What?" Becca asked innocently, "I can't hear you properly, Hope, so I don't know what you want." This statement gained a glare from Hope who stalked towards the front of the group while Helen and Katie didn't even attempt to hide their laughter.

"Why didn't you untie her or remove the gag?" one of them asked.

"Don't you prefer her this way? She can't talk our ears off about David Bowie now."

"True. Very, very true."


	5. Can I Have Some More?

The four girls were stumbling along a road in Magnolia, looking for a suitable place for what they were planning. Finally they found what they were looking for, a street where there was several food shops lined up. What they didn't notice was the single figure with the Fairy Tail guild mark on their chest, he watched them as the one in the black dress brought out a flute. She raised the flute to her lips and started to play a song that made people take another look at them and then smile sadly at them. He narrowed his eyes as the others started to walk towards the various shops before walking away after being given free food.

After the three of them had been given enough food for four people they started to go back to Becca so they could sit and eat after a week without food. As they started to eat while sat in a small alley a shadow fell over them. "What?" Helen snapped not looking up. After a few minutes she looked up to see a black haired boy studying her new hat with critical eyes. She had made the hat three weeks ago, after they had been travelling for three days; it was made completely out of snowflakes.

"I saw what you did just then." He finally said, accusation lacing his voice.

"What? Get food after not eating for a week, are you going to tell us off for trying not to starve." Hope muttered under her breath. The teenager frowned before opening his mouth.

"No, but did you have to use magic to get them to give it to you; and how long did it take you to make that hat?" He exclaimed, the last part directed at Helen with curiosity present in his tone. "Never mind, can all of you use magic?"

"Eh..kinda. We can't really control it, though." This came from Becca, who had just finished eating the food that had been gathered for her. He nodded despite the frown on his face as though he was slightly surprised by this answer. Without saying anything else he grabbed Helen and started to drag her out of the alley. With a yelp Helen flailed and grabbed onto Becca's arm so that she had to follow, so she managed to get hold of Katie and Hope to make sure they didn't get lost again.

Arriving at their new destination, the four of them stared up at the wooden building with the Fairy Tail symbol adorning the walls. It was a traditional Japanese style building with the multiple layers getting smaller and smaller. Katie cleared her throat and turned to the dark haired boy, "What did you say your name was? I didn't catch it."

The boy turned to her with a confused look, "Oh, I'm Gray Fullbuster" he finally answered before kicking open the door and dragging them all in. His entrance got the attention of a lot of the guild, including the master. "Oi, Gramps." He called out, "I found these in the city. They were using magic to manipulate people."

This statement got them quite a few suspicious stares but Helen started to rant almost immediately, "Well I'm sorry. Maybe next time we'll just sit there and starve like you obviously want us to then; of course we won't do anything to try and survive." At the end of her mini rant their was a slight chill in the air and without warning a pile of snow fell on his head, completely covering him. Her eyes widened slightly at this and she started to fiddle with the sleeves of her top before she was interrupted by the laughter of a small, old man.

"I see what he means, you definitely have some talent. But what about the rest of your group?" he questioned with a small smile on his face.

Katie glanced round the small group before stepping forward slightly, "I don't see why we should tell you this before you tell us your name." This was said with a small knowing smirk gracing her face before she raised her eyebrow pointedly at him.

"Yes, I suppose so. My name is Makarov Dreyar, perhaps you can tell us yours and if you possess any magical talent."

"I suppose so. The one with the snow is Neko, I'm Nami and I have a little bit of talent with water,Akuma is the blonde one. She can manipulate wind and a bit of lightning, and the last one is Enma-dono. Her particular talent lies in manipulating emotions through her music."

Makarov frowned before slowly saying, "i'm not sure if that last one is magic or just really good music."

"No, it's magic." came a muffled voice from the snow pile as a hand emerged from the top. "She has some runes on her flute that affects the sound that comes out." Gray said finally out of the snow, shaking his head to remove all the snowflakes. He made a motion as if to take the flute from Becca but she growled quietly in warning.

Makarov nodded his head before saying. "Well. do you want to join our guild. We can teach you some more magic and increase your control over it." They all gave sheepish smiles at that point and slowly nodded their heads. "Great, now Lisanna will give you your mark and I'll just fill in this form."

Slowly they filed over to where Lisanna was waiting with the stamp, a small smile on her face as she waited for indication of where they wanted their mark. Becca got hers on her collarbone, Hope had hers on her ankle while Helen got hers on her wrist and Katie had it wrapped round the side of her hand. For some reason the marks had changed colour on their own to suit the type of magic that each person had; Helen had a silvery blue colour, Hope had a gold outline with a silver middle, Katie had turquoise while Becca had a dark purple colour mark.

Makarov motioned them over to his office before proceeding to ask them basic questions, when he finally got to their living spaces they looked at each other before queitly mumbling "Umm, we don't have anywhere, and we don't have any money to pay for any place to stay either."

"Hmm… I suppose that emcould /embe a problem…" Makarov stroked his mustache thoughtfully.

Becca narrowed her eyes, "Why?" she demanded, whilst the other three exchanged nervous glances.

"Well, if you don't have anywhere to live, then I can't fill in the form properly, and if I can't fill in the form properly, then you can't fully join the guild." He said, completely oblivious to the fact that Becca was mentally rehearsing a thousand different ways she could kill him with nothing but her bare hands.

"Why?" She demanded again, the ever-present sinister tones in her voice becoming more and more pronounced.

Katie decided that now would as good a time as any to intervene, before Becca inadvertently caused some kind of war between the four of them and the whole guild, "How about we all calm down," She looked at Becca pointedly, "and try to figure out some kind of solution that benefits all of us."

Makarov pondered this for a second, "I'm not sure how that can be achieved, here at Fairytail we pride ourselves on our accurate and up-to-date administrative records-"

"Screw bureaucracy, I demand justice!" Helen cried, jumping suddenly to her feet and punching the sky in defiance.

"Justice for what?" Hope asked, befuddled.

"For..for…sheep farmers! Justice for sheep farmers!"

Katie raised an eyebrow, "What on Earth do sheep farmers have to do with, well, anything?"

"Sheep are beautiful and noble creatures." Helen said, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Oh God, you're getting an idea, aren't you?"

"Maybe…"

"I refuse to take part in the ritualistic slaughter of fluffy farmyard animals." Hope piped up.

"I killed a sheep once," Becca added, a comment which was met with expressions varying from fascinated to horrified.

"What did it taste like?" Katie asked absently.

"A bit chewy to be honest," Becca replied, "but still better than cabbage."

"Maybe we should get back to the matter at hand-" Makarov tried to say, before he was instantly interrupted.

"Shut up!" All four of them said at once.

"We're busy discussing the pros and cons of starting a sheep farm!"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"Okay, so it's decided, Katie can deal with buying and selling the livestock seeing as she's the only one who can actually talk to people, Becca can deal with the actual killing of the sheep because she has the most experience, Hope can look after the sheep because she refuses to do anything else, and I will deal with all legal conflicts-"

"You mean killing anyone that gets in the way?" Katie interrupted.

"Basically, yes."

With their sheep farm dilemma finally resolved, the girls began to realise that, gradually, the various members of Fairytail had assembled in Makarov's office to watch the…conversation play out.

"Hey, Gramps, can we keep 'em!?" Someone asked.

Makarov sighed, his brow furrowed, "Assuming you still want to join the guild?" he addressed the four girls.

"Well," Helen began, before Katie immediately cut her off.

"Of course we do!" She said enthusiastically.

"Hmm, I'd have to ask Mirajane, she's in charge of administration…" Makarov said doubtfully, pressured by the intense gaze of the guild members.

"That's fine with me." The aforementioned head of administration said with a sweet smile.

"Well, if that's the case…" Makarov scratched the back of his head, before hopping up to stand on the desk, the incomplete application forms ripping slightly under his heavy black shoe, "Welcome to Fairytail!"

A cheer went up throughout the guild, most of them raising mugs of alcohol as they started to laugh and talk. Suddenly a chair was flung across the room as a brawl was started by those who had managed to escape the confines of the office. Makarov sighed and shook his head before looking to the new members of the guild; he was very surprised to see that they were watching the fight with gleeful smiles on their faces - the one they called Enma-dono was on the verge of laughter.

Everything in the guild stopped as an exuberant cackle resounded through the hall. They traced the sound back to Enma-dono who was stood with her head thrown back and shoulders shaking, her cackle slowed into quiet chuckles before she started to wipe tears from the corners of her eyes. Nami (Katie) stepped up saying "She cackles when she laughs properly, we know its rare but there's no need to stare." The dry sarcasm in her tone made everyone look away and resume their previous activities. When they were sure that nobody would try to eavesdrop they all made a huddle and started to lay down some ground rules.

"We can't tell them what's going to happen. No matter what we can't say a thing." Katie whispered urgently staring at them all, after getting various murmurs of assent she moved on. "We can't really change anything too much otherwise we can't prepare for the things to come. The knowledge we have can be used to create things to reduce the damage that will be made."

Enma-dono nodded before speaking up "I agree; I also think that we shouldn't call each other by our names in front of anyone."

They all nodded and murmured various agreements. Suddenly a figure barreled into their huddle and various violent confrontations and awkward conversations ensued; they were all introduced properly to various people including Cana, Levy, Macao, Wakaba, Jet, Droy, Gray, Natsu and the Strauss siblings. Most memorable was the introduction to Lisanna - mainly because they actually had to hold down Enma-dono so she wouldn't attack her.

After seeing the forced smiles and not so hidden glares that appeared in Lisanna's presence several of the guild members treated them with a little more distance but others just laughed and said it was a while since anyone had been annoyed with Lisanna, despite the looks of surprise they were given by some of the younger members (most notably Natsu).


End file.
